October 16, 2012 Firebelly Team

The 5 Types Of Social Media Haters We Love To Hate

social media haters

Social media haters are very familiar to those of us who work in social media marketing and we’ve identified 5 types we commonly come across.

Social Media Haters

These are the people who, for whatever reason, aren’t just content to never use social media, but think that everyone else is a raging lunatic for even using it. These are the five social media haters you will frequently encounter whenever you pull out your phone and start sending a tweet.

1. The Can’t Get The Name Right

Insists on calling it “Tweeter” or “Facespace.” They do it with a annoyed-confused look, like a puppy that found a piece of gum. They say it dismissively as a way of saying “This is so unimportant that it’s beneath me even trying to understand what it’s actually called.” They refuse to use social media, because they think it’s childish and silly.

Their latest technological triumph was to get their VCR to stop blinking 12:00, and they want to tell people about it.


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2. The Curmudgeon

Closely related to the “Can’t Get The Name Right” people, the Curmudgeon hates social media because of all this new-fangled technology. They still think social media, the Internet, computers, and smartphones are a fad.

When you try to explain social media to them, they make the “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” face, squeezing their eyes shut, pursing their lips, and shaking their heads like a little child. When you stop talking they open their eyes and say “Back in my day, we didn’t have all these fancy gadgets.”

No one really knows what they say after that, since it all sounds like a high-pitched hum that’s easily ignored, like coffee shop music, so we start using our smartphones until they quit.

3. The IT Guy

Call him “Son of Curmudgeon.” The IT Guy won’t allow social media in his company because of the security threats, even though he doesn’t actually have any real power to make money-making decisions like this. (Jason Falls and I wrote in No Bullshit Social Media about why IT people should never be allowed to make decisions that affect whether a company makes any money.)

The IT Guy will frequently refuse to learn about social media (see facial expression, Curmudgeon), citing a concern with security or the employees’ proclivity for slacking off and “playing on Facebook all day.” (Because if there’s one thing an IT Guy should be concerned with, it’s the productivity in other departments totally not his own.)

4. The I Don’t Get It

These types don’t understand what purpose social media serves. They don’t understand why they need to communicate with other people, don’t think they have anything important or useful to say, and don’t think anyone would be interested in what they have to say.

They may have even signed up for an account, tried it once, and when untold riches didn’t begin pouring in, they assumed it didn’t work, and gave up.

These are also the people who still cite the “I don’t want to know what people had for breakfast” and “I don’t want to know when people are going to the bathroom” as their reasons for not using social media. (If you want to shut these people up, ask them to show you a tweet where someone described their bathroom-going habits.)


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5. The Relationship Purist

“I only like to have relationships with people in the real world.”

That’s fine, we’ll stick with our relationships in the 21st century.

These people believe you can never, ever form a meaningful relationship online. You can only ever form relationships by gazing deeply into the other person’s soul and hearing their voice.

They play catch-up during their bi-annual lunches, saying they should get together more often, and then never do.

They express delight at the latest photos of the other person’s children — “He’s such a big handsome boy! And the manager of his own department? They grow up so fast, don’t they?” — and can barely keep each other apprised with what’s been going on in their lives, before they run out of time, never getting around to finding out deeper, more personal details that will strengthen their relationship.

You’ll probably meet one of these social media haters in the next month, but we wouldn’t be surprised if you met them all this week. Tweet us and let us know how it went! You know they won’t see it.

This is a guest post by Erik Deckers.

Firebelly Team

FUN FACT: We were voted "Most Ethical Agency" at the 2nd annual Social Media Summit.
Firebelly Team

About the Author

Firebelly Team FUN FACT: We were voted "Most Ethical Agency" at the 2nd annual Social Media Summit.

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